


It's Difficult

by cocoabeaniebag



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 02:25:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8603551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cocoabeaniebag/pseuds/cocoabeaniebag
Summary: Keith breaks up with Lance thinking having a boyfriend right now is not the best idea. You can't save the universe and be involved in a relationship, right?





	

Keith sat on his bed running his fingers through his hair pulling at strands as he went. His leg was bouncing causing him to shake with the movement. He closed his eyes tightly and gritted his teeth in pure frustration. He knew it had to be done but it hurt enough to think about it, the act alone might very much kill him. 

“I have to. It’s-It’s the only way I can keep being the red paladin.” He rubbed his eyes together huffing exasperated with his shoulders continuing to tense up. His body was just in a state of ache and nothing he tried did anything to help. He forced himself off the bed and walked slowly out of the room. It was now or never but he wished it more than anything that it didn’t have to be this way. 

He made his way through the halls until he reached the living quarters. He looked around when his eyes found Lance laying on his side with his leg perched on the edge of the seats that were in the center of the room. He looked tired and his eyes were staring into nothing in the far corner. Keith bit his lip and approached only to freeze mid way. 

‘I should wait for the morning…he wouldn’t sleep right if I did this now…’ he chewed his lip and went to exit when Lance mumbled a greeting. 

“Sup, Keith.” he sighed not lifting his head to look at him. 

“Oh uh…hey, Lance. I was um..looking for you.” Keith felt his inside start to churn and his body was vibrating. He wanted to throw up and or run from this place, far enough to get away from Lance. 

“You alright?” Lance sat up concerned and lifted himself off the cushions. He approached Keith with his hands stuffed in his jacket holding a worried look. 

“I…no. I’m…” Keith rubbed his neck trying to get the words to form when Lance stood in front of him frowning. Keith looked at him in the eyes and his heart sank. Lance’s eyes were red like he had been crying and his face was crestfallen. Keith swallowed dryly trying not to lose his nerve, it was now or never. 

“Lance I wa-huh.” 

Lance threw his arms around Keith’s waist and buried his face into the red paladin’s shoulder. He squeezed tightly closing his eyes shaking his head against Keith. Keith kept his arms at his side and waited with the feeling of tears brimming his own eyes. 

“Please, please just give me another shot. Please, I promise I won’t mess up ever again. I promise, Keith. Please. Please.” Lance whimpered with Keith feeling the warmth of tears against his shirt. The red paladin closed his eyes tightly and made firm fists at his sides. 

“You won’t have to worry about me messing up missions I promise. I’ll do better, I won’t embarrass you again.” 

“Lance I…I have to focus on what I need to do. I can’t do that with…you and..”

Lance pulled away eyes opening wide. He placed his hands on Keith’s shoulder pushing him away and staring at him. Keith held a straight face while Lance’s twisted in pain. 

“I…I know I messed up the past few flights but I won’t do it again. I won’t embarrass you like I did earlier! I swear I’ll…you’ll be proud of me! I’ll make you proud!” 

“Lance I can’t be the red paladin and your boyfriend at the same time. I…missions have gotten harder and I don’t…I don’t need to worry about…this just makes it so much more harder on me. I want you safe but I can’t…” Keith closed his eyes looking away while Lance’s arms fell as his side and his eyes started to brim over with tears. They streamed down his face as he stared at Keith who had crossed his arms and looked at the ground. 

“Keith no I-“

“I’m sorry, Lance…I…I’ll never stop caring for you. We can still be-“

“Friends? That’s all you want me as? All because I mess up some missions?” Lance’s tears came faster and soon they were just streaming down his face hitting the ground. Keith frowned at him about to speak when Lance placed his face into the sleeve of his jacket trying to hide his tearful face. 

“No you didn’t mess…I…maybe back on Earth we can…try again or…meet new people. Right now I can’t focus on you and being the red paladin. It’s not possible.” 

“Keith I’ll get batter at being a pilot you won’t have to worry about me! Please! I swear you won’t have to worry about me getting hurt or messing up the goal I..please..” 

“No! No okay no! It’s not about you being better its about me not wanting to see you get hurt! It’s not you embarrassing me! It’s about me wanting to protect you while I’m trying to protect the universe! Lance it’s too much and I can’t do it!” 

“Keith I-“

“I’m sorry, Lance. I’m so sorry but I…I can’t do this. Not anymore.” Keith turned away from the blue paladin and walked out of the room. The door closed behind him and Keith was barely took a step away when he heard Lance sobbing. He froze, his whole body shaking listening to the blue paladin cry. He bit his hand trying to hold in his own pain and raced off towards his room. It was going to be a hell of a night, the first night he’d sleep alone. 

Weeks have passed and the relationship between Keith and Lance grew strained. They hardly spoke to each other only when necessary otherwise it an uncomfortable silence. A distress signal was launched and the castle of lions were being summoned for assistance. The paladins rushed to their lions each taking off as soon as they found them. Once in the air Shiro started giving orders on how to handle the new mission. Much to Keith’s dismay he sent off Keith and Lance to search the perimeter while the others searched for the galra fleet that was supposedly attacking the planet that was their destination. 

Heading towards the golden colored planet the red and blue paladin flew silently. Their lions giving off occasional purrs and growls communicating with each other as their paladins flew onwards ignoring each other. Once landed the both exited their lions and began to search the area. 

The planet was an odd one for sure, it almost looked like it was nothing but a massive crater. Everywhere they looked there were holes of various shapes and sizes. Steep cliffs covered the terrain and massive caves were scattered every which way. 

“This place looks deserted, is Allura positive that the signal came from here?” Lance asked pressing buttons on his wrist to activate the map. Keith said nothing and activated his bayard just in case of a sneak attack. 

“Hm, maybe it’s like the Balmerans. They’re underground so maybe we should head down there?” Lance rotated the map again trying to find any form of life but reading nothing. 

“Let’s search up here some more then we can make our way down one of the caves.” Keith mumbled. They walked around some more not finding anything when Lance huffed frustrated. 

“You alright back there?” 

“Oh you care, I’m amazed.” Lance spoke annoyed. Keith turned and glared at him over his shoulder only to roll his eyes away and look back ahead. 

“Man this is lame, let’s head back and start looking through the caves because I’m not getting any readings here.” Lance kept pressing buttons to change maps to find something but again nothing. 

“I think we’ve-“ Keith was cut off by the sound of various explosions. They both spun and above their heads the galra fleet entered the atmosphere. Dozens of ships started firing and the paladins were brought to the ground from the impacts. 

“Let’s move!” Lance shouted rushing towards blue. Once in the air the team began to see that they were heavily outnumbered but they were taking on too much heavy fire to try to form Voltron. 

“Shiro we gotta do something!” Keith shouted. 

“We can’t yet not with this fleet on top of us. Take down as many as you can we’ll try to form Voltron when we have a chance!” 

The others shouted their agreements and began attacking the ships. Keith dashed through three ships causing them to explode while Hunk barreled through them. Pidge and Lance maneuvered around them causing the ships to collide with each other as Shiro leapt from ship to ship taking them down. 

Lance shouted happily congratulating everyone on their progress when something told him to look to his left. His face fell when he saw that the battle ship was aiming a beam at Keith’s flank but he wasn’t paying attention only focusing on the ships in front of him. 

“Keith look out, man!” he shouted. Keith made no sound or did anything to show that he heard him and that’s when Lance rushed ahead. He slammed into the red lion getting the full frontal hit with the laser beam causing him and blue to go crashing towards the planet. 

“No! No no no! Lance!” Keith screamed. He went into a nose dive after the blue lion only to watch it smash into the side of a cliff and then roll down the steep embankment splashing into a pool of water. Keith landed his lion and rushed out of it to reach Lance. The blue lion however refused to open her mouth to allow entry when Keith reached her. 

“Blue c’mon! I gotta make sure he’s alright! Blue! Lance! Lance can you hear me!” Keith screamed. Keith looked up towards the sky as his friends kept fighting. Shiro’s voice came into the communicator trying to get a status on Lance but Keith was too busy trying to break in to reply. 

“Lance! Lance answer me!” Keith kept banging his fist against blue’s muzzle trying to find any way for her to open up. Finally her eyes shown brightly and the hatch opened much to his surprise. He backed away as the mouth came open completely and Lance was stumbling out holding his head. 

Keith waited when Lance tripped on his own feet and collided with the red paladin. They hit the water with a hard splash soaking them both. Lance groaned staying on top of Keith who threw his arms around his shoulders holding him close. 

“Y-you were right, Keith…” he mumbled sadly. Keith turned to look at him but Lance didn’t lift his head or make eye contact he just stayed pressed against Keith. The water started to soak into their space suites causing Keith to feel colder so he sat up with Lance but Lance stayed hunched over against him. 

“This is hard enough without having us be in a relationship.” Lance brought his hand out of the water and placed it over his face rubbing his eyes. The sting of tears and the feeling of wanting to cry hit him hard but now wasn’t the time to do so. Keith kept his arms around him staring at the water frowning unsure what to say.

"Lance I'm.."

"I'll miss this. I'll miss holding you and making you blush but Keith I...I get it. I'll try."

Lance pressed his helmet against Keith’s shoulder openly crying now. It wasn't heart wrenching sobeing but silent sniffles and hiccups. Keith gripped Lance tighter and clung to him shaking his head. 

"Please know this hurts me. Please...it took everything I had to say those things to you. I don't want this end but with how dangerous it's getting.." Keith gritted his teeth tears streaming down his face and his shoulders were shaking.

Lance rubbed his back wrapping his arms tightly around Keith trying to calm him. Lance mumbled reassurances and even said that he loved him.

"Lance can you forgive me?" Keith sobbed. 

"I know why you said those things, Keith. It's ok we'll be fine."

"No not that. I changed my mind."

Lance froze his eyes wide and his mouth went dry. This guy is gonna be the end of him what was he talking about now. Does he not want to be friends? Is everything just too much? 

"Will you take me back? I thought doing this alone was how it should be but I..I can't do this. I thought I could but I can't. If there's any way I-mfmh!?" Keith’s eyes widened as Lance grabbed his face and pressed a firm kiss against his lips. He gripped him tightly holding him close and Keith closed his eyes kissing back. 

Pulling apart Lance cupped his face and removed the red paladin’s helmet. He then removed his own and Keith frowned seeing the bruising the crash caused on Lance’s face. 

"Tell me what you want, Keith. What do you want us to be?" He brushed away tears with his thumb and Keith leaned into his hands.

"I thought not being with you would make it easier but when I saw you crash I still felt the same fear. Nothing changed." Keith closed his eyes and Lance pressed his forehead against Keith’s smiling warmly. 

"Does that bother you?." 

"It scares me." "I'm scared too." Lance smiled a toothy grin and Keith smiled in response as well. The paladins stayed in this position for a few more moments until another explosion made them jump back and look towards the sky. "Right, we gotta get moving. You alright?" Keith asked and Lance nodded his head putting his helmet back on. Keith did the same and they each stood to get back to their lions. Lance turned to leave but was pulled back by his arm colliding into Keith again who pressed a firm kiss against his lips. "Don't get reckless on me now." he growled. Lance smirked giving Keith a wink and walked up the ramp back into the cockpit. Both lions ascended into the sky to keep the fight going. When they finally cleared out some ships they formed Voltron effectively ending the battle. Back at the castle of lions Keith and Lance walked hand in hand towards the sleeping quarters. It was a long day and they couldn't wait to sleep it off.


End file.
